One of the most troubling questions I ever had was why I could not pursue things I wanted (or whether I should) and that started my whole exploration into consciousness, psychology, ego etc. etc.
I recently rediscovered and reflected about the initial post about stories and how the snowball started rolling. I started questioning whether I need a story to begin with, what is the me even, or the self.
And only just now read a brief post by the School of Life around therapy that got my mind churning and made me anxious.
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I don’t think it would be hard to believe that I myself performed self-therapy of sorts while exploring these topics. I distinctly remember not fully understanding Jim’s video in the stories post, not being able to fully grasp the meaning and what he was saying, nor agreeing with him on everything, thinking that he might be crazy instead.
And only bit by bit I eased up into the understanding, accepting many things I never understood about myself. Bit by bit acknowledging that I never gave a second thought about so many things, and so many things I thought to be true misled me so goddamn much.
While I nowadays explore various psychology topics with open mindedness, such as visualisation recently (fascinating!), after seeing the above post on therapy, I realise how difficult it is to help people, no matter the topic, be it their mental health, or their entrepreneurial skills.
Let’s say I’m Alex Hormozi (recently blew up as an entrepreneurship content creator), I do certainly know how things work, how to make money and it’s super obvious for me – and I know all the steps, including the most crucial one – insert something profound here – and I both believe and am able to accept THAT due to the internal work I’ve done before.
And unless the person seeing my content is either super open minded and TRUSTS me, or is in an exact or similar headspace – it won’t stick. At all. And won’t be of much use to that person – as in won’t propel them to grow as it does for me.
Instead, will either make no sense, will most likely produce negative feelings from the thoughts alone (such as fear, inadequacy etc. in the case of business tips; even me thinking about this whole situation is making me queasy and unsure about myself), or be simply something super difficult to accept, therefore – ineffective advice.
Similarly, presenting with others withgems of wisdom or your personal revelations, before the actual self-work begins, is also a somewhat mute offer, as “cool, those sound nice, but that WON’T WORK FOR ME because of dot dot dot”, or the advice giver is cuckoo or something similar.
As I’m writing this, with full acceptance of my non-acceptance before, on so many things, I feel.. sad.
Sad for my own lost potential and years when I was depressed, and the potential of so many people, being locked out of truly living, truly experiencing, growing and being happy, just because of so many terrible things or traumas / forced ideas about themselves / environmental pressures etc., that happened prior or continue to happen.
Whether it’s unlocking spiritual or psychological well-being, or generating materialistic success, both require consistent growth, consistent acceptance (bit by bit), as anything beyond the chewable bit will be thrown out by the not so friendly mind each one of us possesses.
And I understand the irony of this post – that it itself might be impossible to grasp and accept – yet I now feel that it’s actually fine if it doesn’t. Nor should it, really.
And I understand why it does not always work. I bet everyone has heard suggestions and an author or a book or a class or something that completely transformed that person, but once you open that book or see that video – nothing clicks and you’re just so lost as to why that person had so much praise for THAT?
It is OK to be on your own tempo, to take it slow when exploring your self, to take it slow and chew only small bits to begin with, it’s OK to not feel the same assuredness Hormozi presents in his posts, it’s even (ir even more) OK to fail on your own tempo.
It’s OK to fail, in general.
It’s OK to not be progressing if that’s what you’re able to accept and do right now.
And no one else, apart from you, can ever decide as to when you’re ready.
Myself being able to accept this, I’m still uncertain on how to proceed. Whether I should inch from one thing I truly accept to another (I nowadays believe I am able to understand and feel my emotions pretty well, so I’ll probs now when I accept something rather than subconsciously reject it instantly), or just commit to trusting more (whether a therapist, or a business couch) before I actually feel acceptance internally, taking more leaps of faith than before.
I was reflecting a lot recently on how important it is for me to help people be happy. I want to do something about this, to start fighting off the ever creeping challenges we face, to boost people up beyond what they believe they can both be and achieve.
The more I reflect on my past, the more cases pop up when I was simply putting myself down, limiting my purpose, what I can and cannot do, how I should and should not be treated as a person, partner or a lover, what I am worth or not worth.
And I believe, in terms of psychology, that there are so many things I still need to learn and understand about myself, so that I could be content and happy, so that I would be able to pursue things that matter to me, while also accepting my fears and anxieties, my inadequacies and failures.
And I believe, in terms of entrepreneurship, no matter how many great business youtube videos I watch, or coaching sessions I get, or courses I take, unless I accept, deeply, the core truths about my motivation, my drive, my PURPOSE, be it by small bits or by believing and trusting, myself and others that support me – it will forever be difficult to go over the first mountain of resistance.
I do hope that this whole reflection calms my mind a bit and could perhaps calm someone else’s mind as well. Let’s trust the process together.
As I side note, even before this post, I had this small idea about a community for people interested in growth, but not those who are already hustling like crazy, but instead who want to BEGIN. There is a certain lack of knowledge between many courses available online and the normal state of psychology nowadays. I want to bridge this gap, both for me, and for others who might be suffering from similar or even same issues. If you’re interested, I’ll be documenting my journey via my email subscription. Join me and others via the form on the right!
P.s. I have to add an additional thought to this – for me, growth is not about me being discontent about my life and the reason I want to grow / learn / create more is not because I suffer in any way – I do this purely from the perspective of curiosity. It’s perfectly fine to be average and content with your life, relationships etc.